Today has been a very long, eventful, exhausting day. I can’t stand it when something is going on with my kids and there is nothing I can physically do to help. My son had surgery to remove his wisdom teeth today. Although I know that thousands of kids get put to sleep and have this surgery everyday, this was my kid.

It is amazing how these incidents take such a toll on a mother’s heart. You do your best to trust God and not doubt that He is ultimately in control, but it is a sick feeling trusting one of your greatest blessings into the hands of a stranger for medical care. Am I the only one that feels this way?

The surgery was only suppose to take 30 -45 minutes. I kept myself busy looking at magazines, praying, trying to find humor in anything around me to distract me from my concerns. After 1 hour and 10 minutes, I was getting concerned. The lady at the desk said she hadn’t heard anything. After 1 hour and 30 minutes I was getting a bit anxious and fidgety.  The lady at the desk said he was waking up. After 2 hours plus…”I WANT TO SEE MY KID!”, so I send his dad, who is not one bit anxious , seemingly escaping the “serious situation” (I don’t know how men do that!)  to check because my nerves were frazzled. They were way past their allotted time and I needed answers.

The truth is, he was fine all the while.  It wasn’t the doctor I was trusting, although technically it seemed that way. God was there orchestrating every moment. Why does the mother in me wimp out? Why doesn’t anyone else think of all the “what if’s?” Maybe it’s because the mother has been there every second from conception on as a shelter, a protector, an agent of discernment, a cheerleader, a friend and the truth is we never want to see that end. If anything threatens the gift God gave us, we go into survival mode and we want to protect what is ours. We want to make sure the very best possible situation is in place for the optimal outcome.

Sparrow PicsRecently I watched as a mother bird built her nest on my back porch on a baker’s rack. She took great care finding the perfect fixings for the nest. At one point my husband moved the nest and somehow she returned it to the place she wanted it. How she did that, we will never know, but a mother is a force to be reckoned with! All she wanted was the best place, the perfect surroundings, and the right ingredients for her baby birds to thrive. Knowing that they would one day fly away, she still wanted to provide optimal care while she could. Aren’t all true mothers that way?  We are called to give our best to our kids, whatever that consists of. Even at our very best we are lacking in absoluteness to provide everything they need. Through it all, we have to trust the great provider, God our Father. The One that sees what we cannot see and controls what is beyond our control. He always has our kids’ best interest at heart and it working behind the scenes to provide an environment for them to thrive in. When we fear, I guess we are forgetting that as valuable and precious as our children are to us, they are more precious and valuable to God! He’s got them!  With every experience, we must trust Him more to provide all that they need.

Sparrow Pics 2Matthew 10:29 in the NLT says it like this, “What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 30 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” If God cares about the sparrows that are a dime a dozen, how much more does He care for our children that He created in His image! My prayer is, “Oh Father, Help me to trust you more with the people that are the closest to my heart. Help me to never underestimate your care and concern for them. You are counting their hairs and noticing each time one falls. If you are that involved and I know that you are, help me to trust you more!”


  1. I know that feeling!! Even in situations where my kids are with someone I fully trust, I still have all the “what-ifs” in the back of my head. This makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one 🙂 I just pray safety over them, wherever they go and I need to let God handle the rest

    • bkayjones22 (Author)

      Taren, I don’t think men are created with a “what-if” file in there brains, but moms truly are! I think we all have those thoughts, we just can’t let them get the best of it. Sometimes I win at conquering them, sometimes the thoughts get the best of me. We are all a work in progress! Thanks for the comments! 🙂

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