AuntBDear Aunt B: Whats the best way to deal with a strong headed child?

Dear Dani:

I believe that every child is a gift from God, packed full of love and great giftings. Dealing with a strong-willed child can be challenging and exhausting. We can get so overwhelmed with the strong will, that we overlook the responsibility we have to teach the child to deal with the strength of their will properly.

First of all, I would suggest speaking positively to your child and not addressing the strong will as a negative part of their being. Secondly, no matter how much they “act out” trying to get their way, you need to try to remain a quiet strength and not give into them once you have said, “No.” When you waver on your responses to a child, you teach them that there is always a chance you will change your mind. Therefore, they learn not to trust what you say. Being consistent with your word is of utmost importance in teaching your child to trust your authority. Not giving in on what you said also teaches them that in life sometimes the answer is “NO”.

In closing, there is some point of discipline that will work with your child. It may not be strong words of discipline, or time outs. It may be something as simple as taking away their video game privileges, phone, play time with a friend, or just simply giving them time alone in their room. When not obeying or being over zealous merits discipline, find out what works best for your child, and do it. It may seem silly to other people, but the truth is God gave you the key to your child’s heart and He will give you wisdom in cultivating the greatness that is within them. Listen with your heart to God and I believe He will enlighten you.

Make sure to always end the time of discipline with affirming the child and the many good traits you see inside of them. The world will do a great job tearing them down, you be the one that always leaves them feeling better about themselves. Strong-willed children, who have been taught proper disciplines, will make incredible leaders!

That’s my thoughts on the subject. I hope it helps!

***Dear Aunt B’s replies are simply friendly, faith based opinions from the heart. We hope they inspire, help and bring comfort to you. However, Aunt B in no way claims to be a licensed or professional counselor. She simply shares wisdom from her years in her own professional, educational and life experiences. The decisions you make are your own choices. Aunt B desires to be a heart that listens and a voice that inspires love and hope.***

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